Local Publican disgusted at lack of Garda corruption

A local publican has expressed his disgust at the vigilance of Gardai enforcing public health guidelines around Covid-19.

Timmy Turnbull, owner of The Flying Keg, told DTTN that he had previously considered the Gardai as friends of his establishment.

“The guards have always been good to us. They’d turn a blind eye to the odd bit of drink-driving, and even joined in some of our legendary lock-ins. This Covid situation has changed them.”

Turnbull, who had taken to charging punters €9 for a packet of Tayto, was rumbled by a weekend Garda inspection uncovering the lack of actual meals being served.

“We don’t have a kitchen, so we had to improvise with the Taytos,” said Turnbull, “you’d think the guards would want to see a local business getting back on its feet, but no.”

Gardai refused Turnbull’s offer of pints of orange cordial and a few packs of cheese and onion, and are now preparing a file for the Director of Public Prosecutions.

“They were never too good to take the cordial before,” said an angry Turnbull, “I even offered them a few Kits Kats from my personal stash. The heartless bastards.”

Turnbull has barred the entire local Garda force from The Flying Keg and has vowed to continue serving his €9 Taytos.

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