A local woman was outraged after the shoes she was to wear to her cousin’s wedding did not fit, despite only ordering them two days before the ceremony.
Rosie Strokes was shocked upon the shoe’s arrival to discover they were slightly too tight.
“I mean, I’m a size four, I’ve always been a size four. The online retailer I ordered from should have known this,” said Strokes. “What is going on with their crazy sizings!”
Continue reading “Local woman buys ill-fitting shoes, nearly ruins cousin’s wedding”
A local man has literally dissolved in front of horrified onlookers
as temperatures today soared into the 30s.
Manny Mannix (46), known locally as ‘Moany’, was famed for
his incessant disdain towards any prevailing weather conditions.
Continue reading “Local man dissolves in heatwave”
It’s been quite the week for Co. Longford.
Thursday brought a record drugs bust, with €8.4m worth of cocaine being seized from a plane that landed into an airfield in Abbeyshrule. And now
DTTN can exclusively reveal that a batch of Pat the Baker loaves has been accidentally baked with cocaine. Continue reading “Batch of Pat the Baker loaves accidentally baked with cocaine”
A local priest is
awaiting his penance after drunkenly horsing into the communion host on Sunday
Fr. Seamus Cleary had gone to watch the big match at the local pub, with the intention of having a couple of glasses of stout.
Continue reading “Local priest horses into communion host after feed of pints”
A local man has told of his fear of transforming into a
horse after recently completing a month’s supply of Ivermectin.
Pony Sugrue (32) told
that he had procured the commonly used horse and cattle dewormer from the local
vet who “owed me a favour.” Continue reading “Local man fears turning into horse after taking Ivermectin to ward off Covid”
A local woman has already started queueing for Garth Brooks
tickets, despite the country singer not yet being confirmed for any Irish
Following his aborted Croke Park dates in 2014, reports are
circulating that Brooks, who the nation remains inexplicably obsessed with, is
set for five Dublin gigs next September.
Continue reading “Local woman is first in line for Garth Brooks tickets”
A local character has been arrested by Gardai after a prank
filmed for his YouTube channel backfired.
Teddy O’Toole (47) was spotted driving very slowly up and
down past the Garda station drinking a four pack of Guinness 0.0 and filming
himself with his phone.
Continue reading “Local character arrested after alcohol free Guinness prank backfires”
A local father has expressed his disgust at the selection of
sandwiches on offer for his daughter’s university graduation ceremony.
Due to Covid regulations all ceremonies are being performed
remotely, with parchments sent to graduates by post.
Continue reading “Local Father disgusted by sandwich selection at daughter’s graduation ceremony”
Concerns are growing for a local student who will only
communicate using quotes from legendary sitcom
Noel Furlong (19) has not completed a non Ted related
sentence since watching a box set of the entire series two weeks ago.
Continue reading “Concerns for local student who can’t stop quoting Father Ted”
Local office worker
Dina Dineen was shocked this week to discover that she no longer existed due to
a data entry error.
Dineen, a popular and long-term employee of
Mega Tech Corp, was accidentally omitted from a database of employees that was
uploaded to the company’s new benefits portal.
Continue reading “Office worker ceases to exist due to admin error”