Irish consumers are feeling the pinch of the biggest
inflation hike in years, with utility rates and petrol prices soaring to record
However, research scientists from University College Cork
(UCC) have discovered an exciting low cost fuel alternative – guff.
Continue reading “Irish scientists discover alternative ‘guff’ power”
Entertainment network E! has named Ukrainian President
Volodymyr Zelensky as the best dressed leader in the current Russia-Ukraine
The network, the single greatest continuous inanity in human
history, bestowed the honour on
Ukraine!, an hour long special discussing the war. Continue reading “E! names Zelensky as best dressed leader”
Russian government officials are to take on the running of
the Premier League’s Video Assistant Referee (VAR) system from next season.
VAR, which was designed to eliminate controversy from the
game, has only added an extra layer of incompetence to proceedings. But it
seems the Premier League has found a solution.
Continue reading “Russian Officials to take over running of Premier League VAR”
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is somehow still clinging
to power despite doing more dodgy shit than every character from
The Sopranos combined
Johnson is facing overwhelming public condemnation for multiple
lockdown breaching Downing Street parties. And in a stunning statement the PM
has turned the tables by launching a scathing attack on his critics.
Continue reading “Johnson to release cover of Fight for your Right”
British Prime Minister is to host a new version of popular 90’s
Noel’s House Party, the BBC has
The news comes following revelations that Johnson attended a
number of lockdown flouting Downing Street shindigs last December, including a
table quiz he hosted.
Continue reading “Boris Johnson to host re-launched Noel’s House Party”
The United States military prison in Guantanamo Bay has long
been a source of controversy, with suspected terrorists are routinely subject
to torture and indefinite detention,
However, new reports detail a fresh horror greater than anything
Guantanamo has previously seen: Ed Sheeran.
Continue reading “Guantanamo’s fresh horror: the Ed Sheeran method”
Greek scholars around the world have expressed outrage over
the naming of the new Covid Omicron variant.
The Wolrd Health Organisation skipped over nu and xi, the
two next sequential letters in the Greek alphabet, in favour of Omicron.
Continue reading “Greek scholars to protest over naming of Omicron variant”
RTE’s hit property show
Irish Homes is to return for a new series, and is getting even more extreme
in the spaces it’s offering to potential home owners.
The show, presented by Maggie Molloy, offers first time
buyers alternative budget routes onto the property ladder as they consider
neglected cottages, old schools and post offices.
Continue reading “Septic tank and ice cream van to feature in new series of Cheap Irish Homes”
Beloved TV character Peppa Pig is to be sold to the UK government
so her parents can afford social care.
The move comes on the back of controversial changes
announced by the Department of Health and Social Care, putting a cap of £86k on
lifetime care costs, meaning that the UK’s poorest pensioners could pay the
same as the wealthiest.
Continue reading “Peppa Pig sold to UK government so Daddy and Mummy Pig can afford social care”
James Bond is back. And I couldn’t give a shit.
The above was the review I originally submitted to the
DTTN editor, but he sent me back to the
cinema to watch again and write a ‘proper review.’ The heartless bastard. Continue reading “Films with Dion Hegarty – No Time to Die”