Under fire Minister for Justice Helen McEntee and Garda Commissioner Drew Harris have announced a ‘back to basics’ plan to combat potential future street violence following last Thursday’s Dublin riots.
“We’ve studied other nation’s approaches with body-cams, hi-tech gizmos and adequate policing, but frankly that’s not for us,” said McEntee. “Ireland has a proud history of peaceful non-intervention and we intend to respect that.”
The nation was in shock last night as far-right Dublin residents jumped the gun for Black Friday sales and rioted across the city-centre.
Shops on O’Connell Street and Henry Street, including landmark department store Arnotts, suffered extensive damage and looting as hordes of far-right consumers made off with new runners, TVs and whatever else they could shove up their puffer jackets.
Rwandan officials have today reacted with horror to the news that disgraced British Home Secretary Cruella Braverman has chartered a fleet of yachts to transport immigrants to the East African country.
Braverman, whose sociopathy levels have soared after being sacked and seeing her trademark policy ruled as illegal, has gone rogue and is to undertake the 19 day voyage single-handedly.
There’s been a load of balderdash spoken about Gary Lineker and his Match of the Day chums in the past few days, and frankly it’s putting me right off my gin and victuals.
As I’ve said to anyone who’ll listen; the maid, the gardener, the nanny, BBC lifers like Lineker are overpaid, institutionalised, and out of touch with reality. The man wouldn’t know hardship if it hit him with a rolled up copy of The Daily Mail.
As the UK continues to mourn Queen Elizabeth II, her successor King Charles III has been growing accustomed to his new role.
Monday brought the good news that Charles would be exempt from inheritance tax on the vast fortune he is being bequeathed. The monarch celebrated by putting staff at his Clarence House residence on notice for redundancy.