Johnson to self-isolate in fridge until pandemic passes

British Prime Minster Boris Johnson, who today tested positive for Covid-19, has gone onto self-isolation until the pandemic passes.

    Johnson has taken up residence in the fridge he famously hid in to avoid an interview with Piers Morgan.

    “The PM isn’t used to taking anything seriously,” said a government source, “so having to be all grave and noble for the past few weeks has really taken a toll on him. It’s probably why he contracted the virus. He needs his safe space.”

    It is believed that Johnson will use his time in isolation for personal reflection, practicing mindfulness and dreaming up vacuous three word slogans.

    “Get Brexit Done and Protect the NHS were real hits,” said the source, “so you can bet the PM will come up with something really cool from his fridge.”

    Ministers have already drawn up a detailed survival plan to support their embattled PM.

    “Boris was there for us, now we need to be there for him. We’ll be providing daily food and sanitary deliveries, as well as a steady stream of autoimmune compromised plebs for him to sneer at.”

   DTTN understands that Johnson’s fridge will have an active internet connection, which will allow the PM to troll his people via social media, instead of his usual face-to-face methods.

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