Republicans scramble to maintain advantage for ‘youngest man alive’ Trump

Following yesterday’s bombshell that incumbent Joe Biden will not contest the US Presidential election, Republicans are pivoting hard as it dawns that Donald Trump (78) is statistically closer to senility than Kamala Harris (59).

“We’d captured the youth vote against Biden,” said one Trump campaigner. “Donald is still vital, still the youngest man alive, and Kamala Harris can’t change that. The man is so young he wears diapers, for crissake! Kamala doesn’t even own a diaper.”

Continue reading “Republicans scramble to maintain advantage for ‘youngest man alive’ Trump”

Youthful Trump vows to Make America Cool Again

The political world is still abuzz from last night’s Presidential Debate on CNN where whipper snapper Donald Trump (78) put old man Joe Biden (81) in his place.

“I’m young, so, so young. And energetic, I run marathons as I sleep!” said Trump. “Doctors say I may be the single most vital man in human history. The only thing Joe has running is his nose.

Continue reading “Youthful Trump vows to Make America Cool Again”