Trump: Democrats unlawfully applying the law

As FBI agents continue to rustle through classified documents and Big Mac wrappers at Mar-a-Lago, former US President Donald Trump has a launched a stinging attack on Democrat ‘snakes.’

“Rules and laws are for Democrats. That’s why I’ve proudly represented the GOP since coming down the Golden Escalators in 2015 – we don’t follow rules; we make them, tremendously. Look at how we dealt with those women wanting abortions, or those anti-gun nuts,” said Trump.

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International Community to build a wall around United States

The international community is coming together to build a wall around to United States, to stop their madness infecting other countries.

“Frankly, we’ve had enough of their shit,” said a spokesperson for Piss off America (POA). “If they’re not starting wars, or installing dictatorships in third world countries, they’re force feeding endless re-runs of Friends down every TV network in the world.”

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Lonely Planet names US as world’s top extreme racist sports destination

The United States has been named as the world’s number one destination for extreme racist sports by travel bible Lonely Planet.

“It was an easy decision,” said a Lonely Planet spokesperson. “Lots of countries offer their own brand of inherent racism, but none provide the sheer breadth of exciting racism opportunities as the US.”

Thrill seekers from around the world are now expected to flock to the US to experience some of the finest racist experiences known to man.

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Donald Trump to join the circus

US President Donald Trump has had enough of the war on Covid-19 and is running away to join the circus.

Effective immediately Trump will take up a new role as The Amazing Donny Bleach with Fox & Friends Circus.

    “We had an opening after the last Mr. Bleach quit for medical reasons,” said a Fox & Friends spokesperson. “President Trump contacted us and was very eager. We’re delighted to have him on board.”

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