Satirical Irish News
Greek scholars around the world have expressed outrage over the naming of the new Covid Omicron variant.
The Wolrd Health Organisation skipped over nu and xi, the two next sequential letters in the Greek alphabet, in favour of Omicron.
Continue reading “Greek scholars to protest over naming of Omicron variant”
A local man has told of his fear of transforming into a horse after recently completing a month’s supply of Ivermectin.
Pony Sugrue (32) told DTTN that he had procured the commonly used horse and cattle dewormer from the local vet who “owed me a favour.”
Continue reading “Local man fears turning into horse after taking Ivermectin to ward off Covid”
NPHET has warned against the danger of The Delta Blues, and has called for all associated musical acts to be banned.
The popular blues style was pioneered in the early 20th century by artists such as Robert Johnson and Muddy Waters.
Continue reading “NPHET calls for Delta blues ban”
Irish quarantine hotels are seeing a surge in demand from domestic tourists seeking to escape the drudgery of the world’s longest lockdown.
The facilities are designed to accommodate individuals travelling into Ireland from high Covid risk countries, not those already residing in the country.
Continue reading “Quarantine hotels seeing surge in demand from domestic tourists”
A Fianna Fail councillor has called on St. Patrick to return to Ireland to banish Covid-19 from our shores.
Patsy Potato told DTTN that our national day of celebration marks an appropriate time for Patrick to “get off his bony arse.”
Continue reading “Fianna Fail Councillor calls on St. Patrick to banish Covid from Ireland”
Scientists have expressed concern after a new strain of racist diabetes was uncovered in the United States on Thursday.
The shocking discovery was made when a commentator on a girl’s high school basketball game in Oklahoma blamed a racist outburst on his sugar levels spiking.
Continue reading “Scientists warn of harmful racist diabetes strain”
Hit TV show The Masked Singer is the greatest threat to humanity’s continued existence, according to a new report from Harvard.
The show, which features celebrities’ screeching out pop songs in an array of bizarre disguises, is broadcast on both sides of The Atlantic.
Continue reading “Harvard Report claims The Masked Singer is ‘greatest threat to humanity’”
HB has been announced as the official ice cream partner of the Pfizer Covid vaccine.
As part of the agreement vaccines will be transported in HB vans and will come with commemorative HB wrappers and little wooden sticks.
Continue reading “HB to sponsor Pfizer Covid vaccine”
Mattel has today announced the exciting launch of a range of Covid-19 inspired Barbie dolls.
The move is part of Mattel’s ongoing commitment to making Barbie a more realistic role model for young girls.
Continue reading “Mattel launching new range of Covid inspired Barbies”
Scottish chippers have a new addition to their menu they hope will boost flagging tourist numbers.
Deep fried Covid is being offered on a trial basis across a number of Edinburgh chippers for the month of September.
“Scotland is renowned for its cuisine,” said one chip shop owner. “We’re the home of the deep fried pizza and the deep fried Mars Bar.
Continue reading “Scottish Chippers offering deep fried Covid”