Over 70s creating surge in demand for Fake IDs

Previously the domain of the underage drinker, Fake IDs are now in high demand from cocooning over 70s, according to local forgery expert Donny Connors.

    “5km doesn’t take you very far. A lot of older people would like to get out for a walk on the beach, or just visit their favourite supermarket. However, they are afraid of passing through Garda checkpoints. That’s where I can help.”

Continue reading “Over 70s creating surge in demand for Fake IDs”

Bored Garda operating ‘Dirty Harry’ style lockdown checkpoint

A local Garda is facing disciplinary proceedings for operating a ‘Dirty Harry’ style checkpoint while enforcing lockdown measures.

  Garda Colin Frolic, who was bored senseless from asking every fecking driver where they were going, is alleged to have spiced up his routine by deploying techniques learnt from watching Clint Eastwood’s notoriously maverick detective.

Continue reading “Bored Garda operating ‘Dirty Harry’ style lockdown checkpoint”

Local Busybody run off her feet during lockdown

The local busybody has been run off her feet keeping track of all her neighbour’s movements during the Covid-19 lockdown.

Maureen Mooney (68) has been spending her days behind the net curtains of the front bedroom with a notepad and a pair of binoculars.

    “I’m keeping detailed notes on all the neighbours in my ledgers. I’ve a page for each house and a column for each household member,” said the retired shop assistant.

Continue reading “Local Busybody run off her feet during lockdown”