Edwardian sniveller Jacob Rees-Mogg is to star in a
reimagining of the Back to the Future franchise, Universal Pictures has
The double-barrelled Etonian tapeworm will take on the role
of Marty McFly, as made famous by Michael J. Fox in the 1985 original.
Continue reading “Jacob Rees-Mogg to star in Back to the Future reimagining”
With government finalising plans for a new Irish bank
holiday, it appears that even more sweeping changes are incoming.
An Taoiseach Micheál Martin has been on the tear in New York for the past week, addressing the US President & UN General Assembly and visiting the set of Saturday Night Live.
Continue reading “Extra Bank Holiday just the beginning for international statesman Martin”
A UK motorist has offered to trade a year’s worth of toilet
roll to fill his petrol tank as the country continues to run on fumes due to
supply chain issues.
Eddie Sidebottom (43), who owns a 1.3 litre Vauxhall Astra,
was slow to the pumps and now faces being unable to fulfil work duties as a
travelling sales rep.
Continue reading “UK Motorist offers to trade toilet roll stash for petrol as shortages increase”
Empty supermarket shelves are becoming a common sight across
the UK as the country feels the double pinch of Brexit and Covid.
For many these shortages are a worrying turn of events, but a
select band of social media influencers are celebrating this new ‘Brexit Chic.’
Continue reading “Brexit Chic – How food shortages are helping restore Britain’s waistline”
Cristiano Ronaldo shocked the football world today by
agreeing a return to Manchester United, twelve years after leaving Old Trafford
for Real Madrid.
Ronaldo had been widely expected to sign for Manchester City,
but the lure of lining up alongside the likes of Phil Jones and Scott McTominay
proved too much for the Portuguese star.
Continue reading “Ronaldo to Manchester United – The Inside Story”
Cats will soon have a new way to show disdain for their
owners, with the launch of the Catadvisor app.
The brainchild of the team behind Tripadvisor, Catadvisor
will allow moggies to rate their owners in four key areas – food, service,
cleanliness and litter tray.
Continue reading “Cats to become even more judgemental as Catadvisor app launches”
Toyota has announced the launch of the Jackdaw, the first car
to run purely on biodegradable waste.
The car giant has heralded the Jackdaw as an environmental
breakthrough, as it with literally operate on the rubbish people scrape off
their dinner plates.
Continue reading “Toyota announces eco-friendly Jackdaw car”
News station GB News has added a new presenter to their
ranks, and their prehistoric views are sure to spark controversy.
GB News, the brainchild of former BBC journalist Andrew
Neil, launched last week and has been heralded as the UK’s answer to Fox News.
Continue reading “T-Rex to front new GB News show”
The Democratic Unionist Party is to hold a Hunger Games
style fight to the death to select its next leader.
The announcement comes in the wake of Edwin Poots, who himself
ousted previous incumbent Arlene Foster, resigning after only 21 days in charge.
Continue reading “DUP to hold Hunger Games style tournament to decide new leader”
Football fans around the country are calling for indoor pub
service to be brought forward to allow us laugh at England’s inevitable
disastrous exit from Euro 2020.
“Laughing at English failures in the football is a great
national tradition,” said a fan spokesperson. “Especially when we haven’t
qualified yet again.”
Continue reading “Football fans urge early pub reopening to allow us laugh at England”