Varadkar calls for Ireland rugby team to be awarded Six Nations Championship

Leo Varadkar is busy enjoying his all-expenses paid junket to Washington to serve shamrock and smiles to the US.

However, The Taoiseach also has domestic matters on his mind, namely Ireland’s rugby clash with Scotland in Dublin on Saturday that could see Andy Farrell’s men claim the Six Nations Championship.

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Cork to be even more insufferable after Cillian Murphy Oscar win

Cork and its inhabitants are going to be even more insufferable than usual after Cillian Murphy won Best Actor at last night’s Oscars.

“Cillian is pure sound,” said one Cork feen. “This Oscar is for all of us; every man, woman and child of Cork. And we’re all looking forward to our turn to have the Oscar in the good room for the night.”

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Apple users vow to pay company’s €1.8 billion EU fine

Apple has today been fined €1.8 billion by the EU Commission for abusive App Store rules over the past ten years that have seen customers overpaying for music streaming.

But, in an unexpected turn of events, Apple users have reacted to the news by setting up a GoFundMe page for Apple to cover their fine and any other legal costs.

The ‘Justice for Apple’ page has announced their campaign by stating “The EU’s vendetta against our beloved Apple has gone too far.”

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Local man planning to wear shorts yet again despite weather warning

A local man is planning to wear shorts for the rest of the weekend despite a nationwide ice warning coming into place tonight.

Temperatures look set to drop to -2 degrees, but Andy Duff (59) just isn’t having any of it.

“I wear my shorts every day taking the dog for a walk, or popping out to buy the paper,” said Duff, “a bit of cold isn’t going to stop me.”

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Local traffic warden really enjoying life

The local traffic warden is really enjoying his job and doesn’t care who knows.

“People think just because you’re a traffic warden you’re a miserable fecker,” Peter Pincher told DTTN. “But that’s not true at all. It’s a very rewarding career.

They moan and shout when they get clamped, but if they’ve stayed an hour and two minutes in a one hour zone, then I’m technically correct, which is the best type.

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