Fianna Fail Councillor calls on St. Patrick to banish Covid from Ireland

A Fianna Fail councillor has called on St. Patrick to return to Ireland to banish Covid-19 from our shores.

Patsy Potato told DTTN that our national day of celebration marks an appropriate time for Patrick to “get off his bony arse.”

“People say Patrick’s a great fella,” said Potato. “He made us all good Christians and banished the snakes, but what’s he done lately? He’s been on the pig’s back for the last few thousand years

If he wants to keep the big parades and the few scoops in his honour then he’d better do the daycent thing and get rid of this Covid nonsense. He can’t expect poor Micheal to do it all.”

Quite how St. Patrick, who lived and died during the 5th century, could achieve this is unclear.

“Sure, I wouldn’t know. I’m not the saint,” said Potato. “Yerra, don’t these lads have superpowers where they can rise from the dead. Or is that just Jaysus?

If he can’t drive Covid into the Atlantic, then the least the fecker can do is rustle up a few more vaccines. Otherwise we’ll have to start looking for a new saint who can do more. A great man like Charlie Haughey or John Delaney would be ideal.”

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