Liverpool tweet Premier League victory claims

Premier league leaders Liverpool have tweeted confirmation that they are claiming victory in the current season, despite only seven games being played.

“We have claimed, for championship purposes, the Premier League season,” said the club’s official Twitter account. “The table shows a BIG Liverpool lead.”

“We also claim the treble, inclusive of the Champion’s League (which won’t allow legal observers) and the FA Cup. Additionally, we hereby claim the competitions we have already been knocked out of, there were a large number of secretly disallowed goals!”

Especially contentious is the Reds claim to the Community Shield and League Cup, after losing to Arsenal in penalty shoot outs in both events.

“These penalties were clearly illegal! They were scored after the match ended!” said a Liverpool spokesperson.

Other Premier League clubs have condemned the attempt by Liverpool to steal the title, stating that there were still 31 games to be played, and that any attempts to claim victory now were “pure fantasy” and “undermined the league’s integrity.” Liverpool are understood to have hired ace lawyer and comedian Rudy Giuliani to press their case in the courts

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