Fianna Fail planning audacious Messi swoop

Fianna Fail leadership are planning an ambitious bid to recruit football superstar Lionel Messi.

Messi, who last week rocked Barcelona by handing in a transfer request, is understood to be open to a move to the Oireachtas.

“After the recent controversies we could do with some fresh blood in the party,” said a Fianna Fail spokesperson. “When a performer of Messi’s calibre becomes available you have to be interested.”

It is believed that Messi, who earns an estimated €100m a year, will not have to take a pay cut to join Fianna Fail.

“Lionel is all about getting paid a fortune for doing as he pleases. He’ll fit right in,” said the spokesperson.

“We in Fianna Fail feel that the country revolves around us, much in the same way that the Barcelona team revolves around Messi. Having an entire country cater to your needs is much more exciting than just ten other men kicking a ball the way you like.”

The party currently has an opening for a Minister for Agriculture, a post insiders feel may suit the Argentinian playmaker.

“Some of the tackles he endures are farmyard stuff. Even if he doesn’t want the agriculture job I’m sure another role will crop up in the next week or two. That’s the way it is in Fianna Fail.”

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