Letter R to be removed from all school textbooks

As schools around the country resume classes, the NPHET has issued new guidelines around the removal of the letter R from textbooks.

“Our children’s safety is paramount during this pandemic,” stated Acting Chief Medical Officer Dr. Ronan Glynn. “They are growing up in a time when the letter R is associated with the Covid-19 Reproduction Rate.”

Dr. Glynn said that R was a “scary” and “dangerous” letter that “no child should be exposed to.”

Primary and secondary schools have been asked to recall all textbooks, with teachers set to put in hours of overtime redacting every instance of the offending letter.

“If parents are concerned we would advise them to redact the letter over the weekend,” said Dr. Glynn. “We recommend using a surgical black marker and full hazmat suit.”

The move comes following pressure from three Twitter users who expressed concerns that the letter R could trigger their children, potentially leading to “PTSD, alcoholism and enforced prostitution” later in life.

“There is no evidence that the letter R creates long-term psychological damage, but we can’t be too careful,” concluded Dr. Glynn.

NPHET is also reviewing proposals to ban the letter C and number 19.

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