Dominic Cummings: A brave non-conformist

Fresh from his recent public address, professional fantasist Dominic Cummings’ stock has never been lower.

DTTN does not share the UK public’s poor opinion of Durham’s answer to CS Lewis. Instead, we admire his tenacious non-conformism, his ability to bend reality to fit his narrative. If it does come to the worst and he’s pushed out, we are comforted to know that a career as a top-class novelist awaits.

To honour Cummings we have compiled a list of ten other magnificent occasions the Poundland Dickens daringly broke with convention:

  • Used his dessert spoon to eat soup at a formal dinner.
  • Crossed a pedestrian crossing on a red man. Repeatedly.
  • Used an electric lawnmower in a thunderstorm.
  • Drove straight through a roundabout.
  • Told everyone Brexit was a good idea.
  • Farted loudly whilst exiting a packed lift.
  • Played a round of golf using only his putter.
  • Convinced Boris Johnson he was fit to be Prime Minister.
  • Drank a large Americano from an Espresso cup.
  • Held family Christmas dinner in April.

So, UK citizens, we implore you, don’t destroy this great man for the crime of thinking outside the box. His greatest days surely still lie ahead.

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