Exclusive: Government Lockdown exit strategy inspired by Craig David song

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has revealed that the government’s five phase lockdown exit strategy was inspired by the Craig David hit 7 Days.

    “We were struggling to come up with a coherent strategy. Then 7 Days came on my smooth garage Spotify playlist. It was a real Eureka moment.”

    The 2000 hit single chorus states:

Monday/Took her for a drink on Tuesday/We were making love by Wednesday/And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday/We chilled on Sunday.

    “Today is Monday: standard lockdown,” said Varadkar. “Phase One is Tuesday, but without the drink, unless it’s purchased from an off license or supermarket.”

    The Taoiseach outlined that Phases two through five corresponded to the love making days, as “the people of Ireland will love the country opening for business.”

Sunday, Varadkar conceded, was the only flaw in the plan as “we can never chill while the threat of Covid-19 remains present.”

   Opposition leaders have ridiculed the plan stating, that the fate of the nation should not rest on the whims of the Taoiseach’s Spotify account.

     Michael Martin said that Fianna Fail had motioned a Fill Me In approach, which was rejected out of hand.

    Dr. Tony Holohan, who is not a Craig David fan, is understood to have pushed for Gone Till November by Wyclef Jean.

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