An enterprising local drug dealer has expanded his range to offer a number of in-demand baking goods.
Graham ‘Gram’ Goggin is now stocking yeast, cocoa powder and self-raising flour instead of his traditional fare.
“With flights on lockdown I’ve been having trouble maintaining my supply chain,” said Gram.
“It was important to diversify my portfolio, so when I heard about these baking product shortages I saw an opportunity to pivot on end product deliverables.”
Gram and a posse of acolytes systematically cleared out the baking aisles of all the supermarkets around town.
“We go in during the special elderly opening hours” said Gram, “nice and quiet.”
Gram has noticed a sea change in client demographics since the switch.
“Previously we targeted the key 18-39 market, but they don’t care so much about chocolate frosting. I’m seeing a surge in demand from the Claire Byrne types. They like to pretend they’re above our business model, but they love it.”
Gram stated that yeast has become the hot ticket item.
“I’m doing a gram of yeast for €40, two grams for €75. They’re queueing up round the block for it. I’m also offering a free baggie of chocolate sprinkles for all first time customers.”
DTTN has sampled Gram’s produce and can confirm that it is good shit.