Local Woman reveals Black Friday training regime

Local bargain hunter Mary Meaney has revealed her gruelling training regime that she hopes will score her dream deal this Friday.

 “Last year’s Black Friday was a wake-up call,” said Meaney “a granny in a mobility scooter wrestled the last pair of wireless headphones from me. I realised that I had work to do to compete.”

    After a period of self-reflection Meaney decamped to a cabin high in the Comeragh Mountains for six months to train her body and mind to ensure success.

    “Sure, leaving my family behind was hard, especially the kids, but I can’t take any further humiliation. This year I will be victorious.”

    Meaney, who has set her sights on a 50 inch TV from Harvey Norman, meditated for twelve hours a day between readings from the Tibetan Book of the Dead in order to attain a higher level of consciousness.

    The pharmacy assistant stayed fit by chopping wood, and hunting mountain goats and sheep for her nightly stew.

     “Now I’m in the best shape of my life,” said Meaney, who has been camping outside Harvey Norman since late October. “I am grounded, at one with myself. If that bitch or anyone else tries to win my telly I’ll smash them into next Tuesday.”

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