Local Man douses Rose’s candle claim

Local pedant William Q. Halibut has ignited controversy in the music world by insisting that Axl Rose was talking through his hoop in the lyrics to Guns ‘n’ Roses famous hit November Rain.

    “Well,” said Halibut as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “it’s nonsense if you stop and think about it.”

     In the song Rose states that it is hard to “hold a candle in the cold November rain.” Halibut claims that holding a candle in November rain, or indeed any inclement weather conditions, would not prove problematic.

    “Anyone could do it, in fact I was out the back holding a candle in the rain yesterday. It was really quite easy. I didn’t even need a pair of gloves.”

      Where Rose could have run in to trouble, Halibut observed, was if he attempted to light said candle, which would likely be extinguished by the rain.

     “However, there is no express mention anywhere in the lyrics of lighting the candle, or even of holding a lighter, or a box of matches,” he said.

       Halibut, who is hugely popular at parties, said that the oversight has spoiled his enjoyment of the band’s work to the point where he could no longer listen to the song.

     In addition, he stated that he had spotted several logical fallacies in both Welcome to the Jungle and Sweet Child O’ Mine, but we terminated the interview before he could continue.

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