Trump to annex Ireland should Greenland bid fail

US President elect Donald Trump will attempt to annex Ireland, should his controversial bid to take control of Greenland fail, DTTN has learned.

The Orange Felon, who the world is already sick of even ahead of his inauguration, told reporters of his plans at a press conference outside an Irish Bar in Florida.

“Greenland wants me and I want Greenland,” said Trump. “But the Danes aren’t happy. What’s so great about them anyway? I gotta tell you, I don’t like dogs. Do you know who lie with dogs? Fleas. And who lies with fleas? Immigrants. It’s a conspiracy, folks.

My people are saying not to upset the Danes, that they are Vikings. And I can respect that. They did tremendous raping and pillaging, the best.

So, maybe we don’t want Greenland, maybe we just want a green land. And there’s none greener than Ireland, let me tell you. I’ve been there folks, I own most of the country already and it’s one big golf course. It’s beautiful.

Maybe we can make Ireland into our great nations golf course. My people have tried contacting the Irish government, but they just keep getting some android named Harris, probably immigrant. When I take control of Ireland all the illegal androids will be banished.


Stay tuned folks!”

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