Local man plans on owning Ireland’s first Cybertruck

A local man has announced his plans to acquire Ireland’s first Cybertruck.

Eoin Mutch (58) told anyone in the pub who’d listen, and several who didn’t want to, that he’d already been in contact with Tesla to acquire one of their controversial electric trucks.

The Cybertruck, which is not yet available in Europe, retails in the US at around $100,000 and has attracted negative reviews for it’s design flaws, quickness to break down and looking like a tin of beans on wheels.

“I’m rolling in it, so why not,” Mutch told one disinterested punter. “To be the first would be a defining moment from me. I can make it my identity.

I’ve tried golf, but it was boring, I tried work but they keep telling me I have to go home and I tried cycling but the lycra chafes something rotten. If I had a Cybertruck everyone would be watching me, smiling and pointing, as I cruised down the street.”

At this point the punter is believed to have told the financial consultant to ‘go long and shite,’ but Mutch remains undeterred, believing the local barflies lack the requisite drive and vision to drive a Tesla.

“I am a visionary. I literally see things. Just like Elon Musk. If I keep tweeting about owning a Cybertruck it will come.”

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