Local man disappointed that portal doesn’t lead to Narnia

The Dublin-New York livestream portal is back online. And while many have complained about heavy-handed moderation, one local man is dealing with a whole other level of disappointment.

Colm Lewis (54), who travelled to Dublin by bus yesterday, shocked onlookers when he attempted to fling himself through the portal on North Earl Street.

Lewis, who recently finished reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is believed to have taken the portal as a sign that Narnia, rather than New York, waited on the other side.

The father of three did not reply to DTTN’s request for comment, but a source close to Lewis said “he’s always been an impressionable gobshite. At least it’s not as bad as the time he read Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Doctors who assessed Lewis at the scene diagnosed him with a mild concussion and a large case of being a fecking eejit.

“These things bring out the worst in people,” said a witness. “First they’re all flashing body parts, now this. They’ll be doing drugs on it next.”

“That fella had the right idea,” said another witness. “The government should pack all the asylum seekers off to Narnia. Sure, it’d be a great adventure for them.”

The portal remains live between 11am and 9pm every day for vapid exhibitionists with no imagination.

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