By: Clive Parrott, Snooker fan
What is wrong with this publication? I’ve opened it the last two days to see that snooker, the game I love, is either racist or an allegory for the fall of communism.
It’s neither of these things. It’s just a fucking game.
And what a game at that. A test of skill, nerve and temperament, it’s the true sport of kings. You never see a snooker player throw themselves on the ground after a missed black, or take their top off to celebrate a particularly difficult pot.
People say snooker is boring, but the players are such characters. Some wear black shirts, others white. Some drink their water straight from the bottle, others use a glass, or maybe even a straw! Some like a bet, but we don’t talk about them.
Then there’s Ronnie, or GWAN Ronnie! as he’s known to fans. He may be a miserable prick, but he’s so exciting to watch that we’d cheer even if he came into the crowd and punched us on the nose. What a legend.
And I haven’t even mentioned the side-splitting BBC commentary. Where’s the cue ball going? We never know. That’s why it’s such a crazy, crazy game.
(Editor’s Note – Yes, I’m sick of all these snooker articles too. This will be the last one. Unless someone else comes up with another interesting theory.)