Local woman blames loss of hour on immigrants

A local woman was left outraged this morning after waking to discover that an hour had been stolen from her.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Betsy Bogger, “I got up for Easter mass but when I arrived everyone was already coming out of the church. And they said it was an hour later! What kind of witchcraft is this?”

Bogger believes that a family of immigrants, who recently moved into a two person tent at the end of her street, may have stolen the time.

“I’m not one to point fingers, but things have started going missing since they arrived. They’re taking our jobs and our money, so why not our time?”

Bogger’s suspicions were further aroused when she found a watch with the correct ‘old’ time in the immigrant’s tent.

“I’m not one to pry,” said Bogger. “But when those people went off to pray to whatever it is they pray to I took the chance to check for stolen property. And what did I find? A watch that had the missing hour!”

Bogger reported her discovery to the Gardai, but was shocked when her concerns were dismissed.

“They told me to wind my clocks forward, as if we can just ignore this theft. Thev’ve not heard the last of this.”

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