Local GP Dr. Linda Looney has come under the microscope after admitting to writing prescriptions purely to attain branded tat from drug companies.
“It’s a sliding scale,” stated Dr. Looney, “the more you prescribe, the better the goodies.”
Dr. Looney’s swag mania was triggered by a particularly fetching mouse mat she received earlier this year.
“It really complements my office furniture,” she said “and it’s got one of those nice gel wrist rests.”
It is believed that Dr. Looney has continued to hawk drugs from the company that provided the mouse-mat on the promise of ‘next-level’ rewards.
“The next target is the pencil and ruler set, I’m very close to that now. The big one is the beach towel. That’s the dream.”
“Most of my patients pop antibiotics like sweets – they want them for anything; a cold, a sprain, a migraine. What’s the harm? If I don’t give it to them, they’ll go to Dr. Byrne down the road, and he’s already got the beach towel.”
Several of Dr. Looney’s patients have reported adverse side-effects due to their prescriptions. She has assured them their issue can be resolved by upping their dosage and has written them all repeat prescriptions.