A new study commissioned by The Daily Mail has found that Meghan Markle is the root cause of King Charles III’s cancer diagnosis, along with everything that has gone wrong for anyone living in The United Kingdom since 2018.
“This is a shocking finding,” said a Daily Mail source. “We always knew Meghan was an evil American harpy, but even we are shocked by the depth of her depravity. She should be fired head first from a canon immediately.”
DTTN has seen a copy of the report and below are just some of the harrowing accusations made by UK residents against Markle:
“My car wouldn’t start. The neighbours saw Meghan running away with the catalytic converter.”
“The milk was sour when I tried to make my morning coffee. Meghan had unplugged the fridge when no one looked.”
“Meghan ate all the birthday cake and then scattered the crumbs in my bed. I was framed.”
“Meghan gave me Covid. And the flu. And the vomiting bug.”
“I saw Meghan walking a dog without a lead in the park. And playing ball games.”
DTTN can only hope that Markle is brought to justice for these heinous crimes against humanity.