UK Prime Minister has stunned the British public just 24 hours after the death of Queen Elizabeth II, by claiming that she is now their Queen.
“I am The One True Liz,” said Truss at a Downing Street press conference. “Queenie realised this country wasn’t big enough for the both of us. She’d knew she’d met her match. Royal blood is no match for fresh blood.”
Truss informed reporters that she will now brandish a crown and cloak at all times, and travel to meetings in a specially commissioned golden carriage.
“We’ve freed up funds by slashing the NHS budget,” said Truss. “This is my brave new vision, for today. If you don’t like it there’ll be another tomorrow.”
Truss also announced that Secretary of State for Being a Bounder, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is being promoted with immediate effect to become her personal attendant. It is believed that Rees-Mogg will don a suit woven of corgi hair to attend to his duties.
In other news, UK government officials have discovered a fresh amendment to the London Bridge protocol, which states that the UK must now observe 12 years of mourning for Elizabeth II.
Additionally, all households with a median income below £30k will be required to donate 10% of their earnings to the stricken royal family for the duration of the mourning period.