Batch of Pat the Baker loaves accidentally baked with cocaine

It’s been quite the week for Co. Longford.

Thursday brought a record drugs bust, with €8.4m worth of cocaine being seized from a plane that landed into an airfield in Abbeyshrule. And now DTTN can exclusively reveal that a batch of Pat the Baker loaves has been accidentally baked with cocaine.

The iconic bakery, which is based in Granard, Co. Longford, believes that part of the 120 kilo cocaine haul has somehow found its way into a batch Pat’s Pans.

“It’s a bit embarrassing really,” said a Pat the Baker spokesperson, “but it seems like we accidentally substituted yeast for cocaine. We keep our yeast in little plastic baggies, so it’s an easy mistake to make.”

The loaves, which have been delivered to shops around the country may have already been consumed by unsuspecting bread enthusiasts.

“We’re undertaking a full recall of the batch,” said the spokesperson, “and will be carrying out a full review of our supply chain procedures. Needless to say we’ll be looking for a new yeast dealer, I mean supplier.”

Consumers have been warned that loaves from the batch will be flatter than usual Pat’s Pans and may cause paranoia and excessive delusions of being fresh and famous if consumed.

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