Russian Officials to take over running of Premier League VAR

Russian government officials are to take on the running of the Premier League’s Video Assistant Referee (VAR) system from next season.

VAR, which was designed to eliminate controversy from the game, has only added an extra layer of incompetence to proceedings. But it seems the Premier League has found a solution.

“For season 2022/23 the Premier League is proud to announce that VAR implementation will be handed over to the staff of the Russian embassy, whose perspective during the invasion of Ukraine has been hugely impressive” said a Premier League spokesperson.

“The rest of the world sees the illegal destruction of Ukraine and the lives of innocent Ukranian citizens being put in danger. Russian officials see the liberation of Ukraine from neo-Nazi forces. That’s why they’re the perfect team to adjudge tight offside calls and marginal penalty decisions.”

The announcement has received a mixed response from football fans with some feeling that “the Russians can’t be any more corrupt than Mike Riley’s mob,” with others concerned that Russians may award their teams fewer penalties.

Russian VAR will enhance the Premier League’s cosmopolitan feel, with Saudi Arabia owning Newcastle and the UAE owning Manchester City.

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