Extra Bank Holiday just the beginning for international statesman Martin

With government finalising plans for a new Irish bank holiday, it appears that even more sweeping changes are incoming.

An Taoiseach Micheál Martin has been on the tear in New York for the past week,  addressing the US President & UN General Assembly and visiting the set of Saturday Night Live.

“New York is a can do type of place and I want to show the Irish people that I’m a can do type of Taoiseach.  I mightn’t be as funny as the SNL crew or President Biden, but I’m a Cork feen on a mission.

The new Bank Holiday is just the start. I’m going to give the people what they want – a four day working week, Guinness taps in every home, better weather and a free carvery for every man, woman and child in the country. They’ll be chanting my name on the streets. Mary-Lou and Leo won’t have a sniff of power for decades.”

Martin went on to say that he’d also change all the road signs to Elvish, fix the roads and track down Fungie the dolphin.

Fianna Fail insiders have welcomed their re-energised leader, but the opposition remain sceptical.

“It’s pie in the sky nonsense,” said a Sinn Fein spokesperson. “He’ll be promising Mayo to win Sam next.”

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