UK Motorist offers to trade toilet roll stash for petrol as shortages increase

A UK motorist has offered to trade a year’s worth of toilet roll to fill his petrol tank as the country continues to run on fumes due to supply chain issues.

Eddie Sidebottom (43), who owns a 1.3 litre Vauxhall Astra, was slow to the pumps and now faces being unable to fulfil work duties as a travelling sales rep.

“I don’t panic at every report from the lame stream media. I’m not one of these Remoaners spoilin’ it for everyone by fillin’ up every five minutes,” said Sidebottom.

Faced with the prospect of his P45, Sidebottom has offered a year’s supply of toilet roll to anyone who can provide him with a full tank of petrol.

“I sell the stuff, so when Covid hit I naturally kept a few hundred rolls for myself. Turned a nice little profit to some right mugs. Now it’s time for the investment to pay off.”

Sidebottom mentioned that he also has three racks of slightly turned British lamb and a limited edition Nigel Farage cravat and tie pin set that he would be willing to trade in the right circumstances.

“Business is business, but I don’t want none of that foreign muck, only proper British petrol.”

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