Local priest horses into communion host after feed of pints

A local priest is awaiting his penance after drunkenly horsing into the communion host on Sunday evening.

Fr. Seamus Cleary had gone to watch the big match at the local pub, with the intention of having a couple of glasses of stout.

However, buoyed by a big win for his team, the cleric switched to pints and several whiskey chasers.

“The fourth glass of Paddy’s may have been a mistake,” admitted Fr. Cleary, who had gone out on an empty stomach, after giving his housekeeper, Mrs. O’Shea, the day off.

 Fr. Cleary, who’d had nothing since breakfast, was famished but felt it was “unbecoming of his station” to queue up in the local takeaway for a feed of chips.

Faced with the prospect of an empty fridge at the parochial house, Fr. Cleary took desperate measures, absconding from his church with a package full of consecrated bread.

After futile attempts to toast or fry the host, Fr. Cleary emptied the lot into a big bowl of milk and scarfed them without a spoon.

    “They were awful soggy, no substance at all,” he said. “I really must get Mrs. O’Shea to buy some cornflakes.”

      Fr. Cleary is expected to receive a record number of Hail Marys from the Bishop.

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