Satirical Irish News
Entertainment network E! has named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky as the best dressed leader in the current Russia-Ukraine conflict.
The network, the single greatest continuous inanity in human history, bestowed the honour on OMG Ukraine!, an hour long special discussing the war.
Continue reading “E! names Zelensky as best dressed leader”
Russian government officials are to take on the running of the Premier League’s Video Assistant Referee (VAR) system from next season.
VAR, which was designed to eliminate controversy from the game, has only added an extra layer of incompetence to proceedings. But it seems the Premier League has found a solution.
Continue reading “Russian Officials to take over running of Premier League VAR”
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is somehow still clinging to power despite doing more dodgy shit than every character from The Sopranos combined
Johnson is facing overwhelming public condemnation for multiple lockdown breaching Downing Street parties. And in a stunning statement the PM has turned the tables by launching a scathing attack on his critics.
Continue reading “Johnson to release cover of Fight for your Right”
British Prime Minister is to host a new version of popular 90’s show Noel’s House Party, the BBC has announced.
The news comes following revelations that Johnson attended a number of lockdown flouting Downing Street shindigs last December, including a table quiz he hosted.
Continue reading “Boris Johnson to host re-launched Noel’s House Party”
The United States military prison in Guantanamo Bay has long been a source of controversy, with suspected terrorists are routinely subject to torture and indefinite detention,
However, new reports detail a fresh horror greater than anything Guantanamo has previously seen: Ed Sheeran.
Continue reading “Guantanamo’s fresh horror: the Ed Sheeran method”
Greek scholars around the world have expressed outrage over the naming of the new Covid Omicron variant.
The Wolrd Health Organisation skipped over nu and xi, the two next sequential letters in the Greek alphabet, in favour of Omicron.
Continue reading “Greek scholars to protest over naming of Omicron variant”
Beloved TV character Peppa Pig is to be sold to the UK government so her parents can afford social care.
The move comes on the back of controversial changes announced by the Department of Health and Social Care, putting a cap of £86k on lifetime care costs, meaning that the UK’s poorest pensioners could pay the same as the wealthiest.
Continue reading “Peppa Pig sold to UK government so Daddy and Mummy Pig can afford social care”
Calls for UK political rent-a-gob Nigel Farage to be appointed as Northern Ireland Secretary are growing amongst Tory party members.
Insiders say that Farage, the former UKIP and Brexit Party leader, has demonstrated a “deeply nuanced understanding” of the North in recent days after being tricked into saying “Up the Ra!” in a Cameo video.
Continue reading “Calls for Farage to be appointed Northern Ireland Secretary intensify”
A local mother is absolutely raging at Netflix after her child was traumatised watching Squid Game.
Karen Nerak (34) told DTTN that her five year old son Adam has not slept since watching an episode of the Korean thriller-horror show that has become a worldwide sensation.
Continue reading “Local Mother raging at Netflix after child views Squid Game”
JP Morgan chief executive Jamie Dinon is the boss of one of the world’s largest investment banks, but also one hell of a stand-up guy.
In a recent interview Dinon stated that requesting a cut to his annual $31.5m pay packet would be an offence to his board. Instead, he stated that his $15,000 per hour salary was fair pay of the level needed to keep top talent.
Continue reading “JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dinon: A Giant Amongst Men”