As the UK continues to mourn Queen Elizabeth II, her successor King Charles III has been growing accustomed to his new role.
Monday brought the good news that Charles would be exempt from inheritance tax on the vast fortune he is being bequeathed. The monarch celebrated by putting staff at his Clarence House residence on notice for redundancy.
Country superstar Garth Brooks is in the midst of a five night residency at Croke Park. And Data Scientists from UCD are predicting that the singer will be sending fans home with more than a smile and a Stetson.
With 400,000 fans in attendance, the gigs are the nation’s greatest collective event since Pope John Paul II graced The Phoenix Park in 1979. The Pope’s visit resulted in a spike in child births nine months later, and according to UCD boffins the summer of 2023 could see similar results.
UK Prime Minister has stunned the British public just 24 hours after the death of Queen Elizabeth II, by claiming that she is now their Queen.
“I am The One True Liz,” said Truss at a Downing Street press conference. “Queenie realised this country wasn’t big enough for the both of us. She’d knew she’d met her match. Royal blood is no match for fresh blood.”
Spanish football giant Barcelona has shocked the sporting
world by making an audacious bid for former US President Donald Trump.
The Catalan club, which is pulling more levers than a bus
load of OAPs on a weekend in Vegas, has already signed five players this summer
despite not paying the full wages of a number of squad members.
As FBI agents continue to rustle through classified documents
and Big Mac wrappers at Mar-a-Lago, former US President Donald Trump has a
launched a stinging attack on Democrat ‘snakes.’
“Rules and laws are for Democrats. That’s why I’ve proudly
represented the GOP since coming down the Golden Escalators in 2015 – we don’t
follow rules; we make them, tremendously. Look at how we dealt with those women
wanting abortions, or those anti-gun nuts,” said Trump.
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is somehow still clinging
to power despite doing more dodgy shit than every character from The Sopranos combined
Johnson is facing overwhelming public condemnation for multiple
lockdown breaching Downing Street parties. And in a stunning statement the PM
has turned the tables by launching a scathing attack on his critics.