Satirical Irish News
UK Prime Minister Liz Truss and Chancellor for the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng are to appear on the new series of Eat Well for Less, the BBC has announced.
The show, hosted by Chris Bavin and Jordan Banjo, helps families across the UK save money by examining their grocery spend and cooking from scratch.
Continue reading “Truss and Kwarteng to appear on Eat Well for Less”
Country superstar Garth Brooks is in the midst of a five night residency at Croke Park. And Data Scientists from UCD are predicting that the singer will be sending fans home with more than a smile and a Stetson.
With 400,000 fans in attendance, the gigs are the nation’s greatest collective event since Pope John Paul II graced The Phoenix Park in 1979. The Pope’s visit resulted in a spike in child births nine months later, and according to UCD boffins the summer of 2023 could see similar results.
Continue reading “Garth Brooks gigs to ignite 2023 birth rate explosion”
Entertainment network E! has named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky as the best dressed leader in the current Russia-Ukraine conflict.
The network, the single greatest continuous inanity in human history, bestowed the honour on OMG Ukraine!, an hour long special discussing the war.
Continue reading “E! names Zelensky as best dressed leader”
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is somehow still clinging to power despite doing more dodgy shit than every character from The Sopranos combined
Johnson is facing overwhelming public condemnation for multiple lockdown breaching Downing Street parties. And in a stunning statement the PM has turned the tables by launching a scathing attack on his critics.
Continue reading “Johnson to release cover of Fight for your Right”
British Prime Minister is to host a new version of popular 90’s show Noel’s House Party, the BBC has announced.
The news comes following revelations that Johnson attended a number of lockdown flouting Downing Street shindigs last December, including a table quiz he hosted.
Continue reading “Boris Johnson to host re-launched Noel’s House Party”
The United States military prison in Guantanamo Bay has long been a source of controversy, with suspected terrorists are routinely subject to torture and indefinite detention,
However, new reports detail a fresh horror greater than anything Guantanamo has previously seen: Ed Sheeran.
Continue reading “Guantanamo’s fresh horror: the Ed Sheeran method”
RTE’s hit property show Cheap Irish Homes is to return for a new series, and is getting even more extreme in the spaces it’s offering to potential home owners.
The show, presented by Maggie Molloy, offers first time buyers alternative budget routes onto the property ladder as they consider neglected cottages, old schools and post offices.
Continue reading “Septic tank and ice cream van to feature in new series of Cheap Irish Homes”
James Bond is back. And I couldn’t give a shit.
The above was the review I originally submitted to the DTTN editor, but he sent me back to the cinema to watch again and write a ‘proper review.’ The heartless bastard.
Continue reading “Films with Dion Hegarty – No Time to Die”
A local mother is absolutely raging at Netflix after her child was traumatised watching Squid Game.
Karen Nerak (34) told DTTN that her five year old son Adam has not slept since watching an episode of the Korean thriller-horror show that has become a worldwide sensation.
Continue reading “Local Mother raging at Netflix after child views Squid Game”
Edwardian sniveller Jacob Rees-Mogg is to star in a reimagining of the Back to the Future franchise, Universal Pictures has announced.
The double-barrelled Etonian tapeworm will take on the role of Marty McFly, as made famous by Michael J. Fox in the 1985 original.
Continue reading “Jacob Rees-Mogg to star in Back to the Future reimagining”