Under fire Minister for Justice Helen McEntee and Garda Commissioner Drew Harris have announced a ‘back to basics’ plan to combat potential future street violence following last Thursday’s Dublin riots.
“We’ve studied other nation’s approaches with body-cams, hi-tech gizmos and adequate policing, but frankly that’s not for us,” said McEntee. “Ireland has a proud history of peaceful non-intervention and we intend to respect that.”
The nation was in shock last night as far-right Dublin residents jumped the gun for Black Friday sales and rioted across the city-centre.
Shops on O’Connell Street and Henry Street, including landmark department store Arnotts, suffered extensive damage and looting as hordes of far-right consumers made off with new runners, TVs and whatever else they could shove up their puffer jackets.
Country superstar Garth Brooks is in the midst of a five night residency at Croke Park. And Data Scientists from UCD are predicting that the singer will be sending fans home with more than a smile and a Stetson.
With 400,000 fans in attendance, the gigs are the nation’s greatest collective event since Pope John Paul II graced The Phoenix Park in 1979. The Pope’s visit resulted in a spike in child births nine months later, and according to UCD boffins the summer of 2023 could see similar results.
An Taoiseach Micheal Martin and Tanaiste Leo Varadkar have paid tribute to Michael Collins in a special ceremony at Beal na Blaith to commemorate the 100 year anniversary of his death.
“Michael Collins was killed for standing up his convictions,” said Martin. “Thankfully that would not happen today, as we no longer require our politicians to have any. We just muddle through and get re-elected every five years without fixing anything.”
Thursday brought a record drugs bust, with €8.4m worth of cocaine being seized from a plane that landed into an airfield in Abbeyshrule. And now DTTN can exclusively reveal that a batch of Pat the Baker loaves has been accidentally baked with cocaine.