Satirical Irish News
Ireland rugby captain Johnny Sexton is set to succeed Ryan Tubridy as the host of The Late Late Show, DTTN understands.
The surprise appointment is sure to put a few noses out of joint at Montrose, but Sexton appears to be relishing the challenge.
Continue reading “Johnny Sexton to become next Late Late Show host”
Country superstar Garth Brooks is in the midst of a five night residency at Croke Park. And Data Scientists from UCD are predicting that the singer will be sending fans home with more than a smile and a Stetson.
With 400,000 fans in attendance, the gigs are the nation’s greatest collective event since Pope John Paul II graced The Phoenix Park in 1979. The Pope’s visit resulted in a spike in child births nine months later, and according to UCD boffins the summer of 2023 could see similar results.
Continue reading “Garth Brooks gigs to ignite 2023 birth rate explosion”
The 999 emergency service is to undergo a drastic revamp, the HSE has announced.
Currently any Irish citizen experiencing an emergency can ring 999 or 112 for ambulance, fire and police services.
However, from 1st October the line will be discontinued and replaced by the new Emerge-n-Z app.
Continue reading “999 Emergency line to be replaced by new app”
Fianna Fail TD Robert Troy this week resigned as Minister for State for failing to fully declare his property interests.
The Longford-Westmeath TD, has a portfolio of 11 properties, making him one of the 77 TDs and Senators who are active landlords.
Continue reading “Robert Troy: The Rise and Fall of the landlord TD”
An Taoiseach Micheal Martin and Tanaiste Leo Varadkar have paid tribute to Michael Collins in a special ceremony at Beal na Blaith to commemorate the 100 year anniversary of his death.
“Michael Collins was killed for standing up his convictions,” said Martin. “Thankfully that would not happen today, as we no longer require our politicians to have any. We just muddle through and get re-elected every five years without fixing anything.”
Continue reading “Martin and Varadkar pay tribute to Collins, shame his legacy”
It’s been quite the week for Co. Longford.
Thursday brought a record drugs bust, with €8.4m worth of cocaine being seized from a plane that landed into an airfield in Abbeyshrule. And now DTTN can exclusively reveal that a batch of Pat the Baker loaves has been accidentally baked with cocaine.
Continue reading “Batch of Pat the Baker loaves accidentally baked with cocaine”
Irish consumers are feeling the pinch of the biggest inflation hike in years, with utility rates and petrol prices soaring to record levels.
However, research scientists from University College Cork (UCC) have discovered an exciting low cost fuel alternative – guff.
Continue reading “Irish scientists discover alternative ‘guff’ power”
Greek scholars around the world have expressed outrage over the naming of the new Covid Omicron variant.
The Wolrd Health Organisation skipped over nu and xi, the two next sequential letters in the Greek alphabet, in favour of Omicron.
Continue reading “Greek scholars to protest over naming of Omicron variant”
RTE’s hit property show Cheap Irish Homes is to return for a new series, and is getting even more extreme in the spaces it’s offering to potential home owners.
The show, presented by Maggie Molloy, offers first time buyers alternative budget routes onto the property ladder as they consider neglected cottages, old schools and post offices.
Continue reading “Septic tank and ice cream van to feature in new series of Cheap Irish Homes”
The day for ghouls & goblins and tricks & treats is upon us, and around the country children are dressing up for a day of festivities. However, as DTTN can exclusively reveal Halloween 2021 could have looked very different.
DTTN has had access to government documents outlining plans for trick or treaters to display their Digital Covid Cert and a Photo ID at each house they called to.
Continue reading “Exclusive: Government abandoned plans to make trick or treaters show Covid certs”