US President Donald Trump has today surprisingly revealed that he is a big fan of perennial Premier League bridesmaids Arsenal.
“Arsenal are a great team, incredible team. Just like me they’ve suffered from fake news saying they’re not the best, but they surely are, folks.
Their manager, Mikel, just like me, but hair not so beautiful, he knows what it’s like to be persecuted for being so good, for so much winning. They say other teams are winners but it’s just not true.
Liverpool, their manager doesn’t even have hair, sad. Then there’s the Eagles, birds can’t even play soccer. Another team, I believe they call them the Geordies, they go to the stadium completely naked and wave their tops around. That’s just un-American and undignified. I know all about dignity. They say no President has ever been so incredibly fair.
And as for the San Antonio Spurs, I’ve asked my guys to investigate how they could win a fake EU trophy. We’re going to tariff the hell out of them. Those EU guys are snakes, trying to corrupt our great NBA teams and creating this new tax shelter nation of Europa. It won’t stand folks!”
It is understood that Arsenal have extended an invitation to Trump to attend their final game of the season at Southampton where they will claim their third consecutive second place trophy.